But you have to watch it for twice as long.

(it’s hard to get through this prof’s lectures without a quote)

Professor: Midget porn: it’s only half as bad as regular porn.

Overheard in Sondheim
by Lars

Did you bring enough for the rest of the class? You did?! My man!

Student: What’s your policy on beverages?
Professor: I think we should drink them. I mean, not a keg or anything…

Overheard in Sondheim
by PKT

The secret to small class sizes

Professor: Did anyone tell you that your penis would fall off if you took this class?

Overheard in Sondheim
by PKT

Yeah, but can we really judge her for that?

Professor: This is Lindsay Lohan. She’s got a problem with underpants and cocaine.

Overheard in Sondheim
by LHM

Atmosphere? What’s that?

Guy 1: Why do you think people go to Hooters? They don’t go for the food!
Girl: I do! I HAVE boobs, why would I want to stare at someone else’s?
Guy 2: (quietly) I go because the owl winks at me…

Overheard in Sondheim
by JK

And who are we to tell the squirrel what’s right?

(during a discussion on animal rights)
Student: Yeah I saw the squirrel just pick up a lit cigarette and run away, and little puffs of smoke were coming out.
Professor: Are you serious?
Student: Yeah I saw it by the commons.
Professor: Well, they ARE mammals. I guess nicotine has, you know, the same effects on them.

Overheard in Sondheim
by James G

And me without my spoon.

Professor: …it’s like bathing in loose jello.

Overheard in the Sondheim building
by Alex

You should see how he does time out.

Professor: How does God supposedly communicate to people?
Student 1: Through a burning bush.
Student 2: So…arson.

Overheard in Sondheim
by Anonymous

Only the ones without Facebook.

Professor (about a handout on stalking): Does anybody need stalking?

Overheard in Sondheim
by Alex

Ah, my monogamous days. To be young again.

Professor: Marital Sex. That’s some sweet shit right there.

Overheard in Sondheim
by Anonymous