Don’t stop believin’

Guy: I don’t care what you say, I wish I was a rhinoceros.

Overheard in Susquehanna
by Mary

Who needs diverse media at UMBC? Just look out the window!

Guy 1: Why are we watching this?
Guy 2: It has black people!
Guy 1: And….
Guy 2: I’m diverse!

Overheard in Patapsco
by pyrodancer

There’s a certain line with these things. And you just crossed it.

(Guy high fives girl)
Girl: Your hands are ashy.
Guy: No. My feet are ashy. My elbows are ashy. My knees are ashy. But my hands are definitely not ashy.

Overheard in Chesapeake Hall
by Rynu

Did somebody put something in the Hookah?

Girl 1: What’s wrong?
Girl 2 (sighing): I’m lost in the corn maze with Sarah Palin.

Overheard in Harbor Courtyard
by Alex Mac

Never borrow money from the poptart mafia. Trust me.

Sleeping Student: Well take care of it. I don’t want to get hit upside the head with a toaster.

Overheard at Erickson Hall
by Ryan S

U Must Be Crazy

140lb guy to 3 scrawny friends: I can squat over 800 pounds, and leg press like 2000.

Overheard outside Erickson Hall
by Riplash

It all hinges on how much you can hold in your cheeks.

Suitemate 1: You need to clean the bathroom.
Suitemate 2: We’ll just do the water thing we usually do.

Overheard in Harbor Hall
by Bekka

Wasn’t this basically the plot to Oedipus?

Girl 1: I try to be as ugly as possible whenever I’m around him. And he calls my mom, ‘mom’.
Girl 2: Yeah, eww.
Girl 1: But she actually kind of IS his mom…

Overheard on the sidewalk by Susquehanna

by David

There’s the polite way of putting it.

Girl: A bidet is like a douche… for your ass.

Overheard outside Patapsco Hall
by PhantomBovine

Helen Keller?

Community Director: I mean Anne Frank…. no wait, the other one.

Overheard in a Residential Hall
by Bone Crusher