Never borrow money from the poptart mafia. Trust me.

Sleeping Student: Well take care of it. I don’t want to get hit upside the head with a toaster.

Overheard at Erickson Hall
by Ryan S

Determining the context is left as an exercise to the reader.

Guy: I mean, I think it’s getting pretty serious. We’ve been poking back and forth for about 3 weeks now…

Overheard outside Erickson Hall
by chefee

U Must Be Crazy

140lb guy to 3 scrawny friends: I can squat over 800 pounds, and leg press like 2000.

Overheard outside Erickson Hall
by Riplash

And the award for dumbest broad at UMBC goes to…

Girl: I just wish things would go back to being good. I mean like, now you have a girlfriend and it’s weird when we hook up. I mean, like, you don’t even love her.
Guy: Yeah, but you know I’m not going to break up with her.
Girl: But we were hooking up before you two started dating
Guy: And we still are! What’s the problem?
(Girl walks away.)
Guy: Hey, you know I love you.
(Girl smiles and kisses guy.)

Overheard in Erickson Courtyard
by oh!UMBC

The fat would make him more juicy and delicious, though…

Girl: I would kill him except he’s so likable.
“Likable” Guy: I thought it was just the fat that kept the knife from going all the way through.

Overheard in Erickson
by Kee

Maybe it stands for “Obscene Companion”

Girl: What’s the OC? Is that Ocean City?
Her Friend: …you’re right, Justin, she’s a box-child.
Girl: No, what is it?
Her Friend: I can’t talk to you anymore.

Overheard in Erickson
by Kee

To be fair, not a lot of people like your uncle either.

Guy: I should send a letterbomb to your uncle.
His Girlfriend: This is why everybody hates you.

Overheard in Erickson
by Kee

And I’m smart in that, “I fail a lot of classes” sense.

Guy: I’m nice in that “get away from me” sense.

Overheard in Erickson
by Kee