…not that there’s anything wrong with that

Guy 1 (trying to whistle): Hey, I can whistle too!
Guy 2: No man, you look like a man trying to kiss a goat!

Overhead in the Dining Hall
by Punkaceratop

I hear the Greek salad has all the fundamentals. We can learn a lot from it.

Girl 1: “Oh my god, look!”
Girl 2: “Does that say ‘pork butt!?’”
Girl 1: “What IS that!?”
Girl 2: “Is that really the butt…of a PORK?!?”
Both pause, clearly disgusted.
Girl 1: “Let’s get salad.”

Overheard in the Dining Hall
by Chemist

Remind me never to eat ‘mystery’ anything at the dining hall.

Chartwells Employee:You pee on my leg, I pee on your leg, you know. It’s like a dominance thing.

Overheard in the Dining Hall
by NotHungryAnymore

I think that’s right next to the Alumni House, actually.

Boy 1: If there’s a D-Hall where’s the A-Hall?
Boy 2: First, we’d have to find the B-hall and the C-hall and Academic I
and II. Then, we can find your A-Hall.

Overheard in the D-Hall
by Just a Girl

I also heard he doesn’t want to go to war.

Boy 1: …yeah and he decided to go vegetarian!
Boy 2: Well then he MUST be gay!

Overheard in the Dining Hall
by JM

Not until Chick-Fil-A is open.

Girl 1: Are you done being vegetarian yet?
Girl 2: NO!

Overheard in the Dining Hall
by Squirrel

Coming out week is a helluva time.

Guy (to friend): Fuschia mongooses. I swear to you.

Overheard in the D-Hall
by the nerds

Premium, but with a hint of perineum.

Student 1: This chicken is so premium.
Student 2: I took a dump in the soup pot.

Overheard in the Dining Hall, Salad Side
by Bekka

Don’t thank me, thank Hints from Heloise!

Manly Jock 1: I mean it was A LOT of blood…
Manly Jock 2: Right… so what’s the problem?
Manly Jock 1: Well, blood is really hard to get out of white fabric, you know…
Manly Jock 2: Of COURSE I know! Try baking soda!
Manly Jock 1: Oh, good idea, thanks bro.

Overheard in the Dining Hall
by hidden audio bandit

He did–he was just writing under a pseudonym.

Student: The book of Revelations, that’s some scary stuff. Stephen King could’ve wrote that shit.

Overheard in the Dining Hall
by A.N.